How to treat a Southern Lady

I adore Southern Living. Well, actually I adore Southern living in general. But specifically, the magazine. I am a subscriber. I ran across this article on another blog this week and I remember reading it in last year's July issue and wanting to share it then. I just love all things Southern, especially chivalry. Of course my husband would call me a bossy independent woman, but I still like to be treated like a lady. And I plan to teach Amelia to expect her future suitors to treat her like a lady as well. I thought I'd share the following for my mommy friends who have little boys and plan to teach them how to treat their future girlfriends.

15 Ways to Charm Her

Southern Living, July 2009
By Amy Bickers


“Want to impress a Southern girl? Just think “What would my grandfather have done?”

Number one: We still expect you to give up your seat for a lady. On a bus, at a bar, on a train. . . we don’t care where you are. Unless you are at a restaurant and the only lady in sight is the one taking your order, stand up. Now.

On a recent Friday night at a bustling restaurant bar, two friends and I waited for our table to be called. The barstools were occupied so we stood patiently, sipping wine and chatting about the workweek. When a couple nearby stood up, another woman – who had been there less time than we had – swooped in, reaching across us to put her purse on the stool. This isn’t the worst part. It’s what happened next: Her male companion then slid onto the other barstool.

Hang on while I do a geography check. Are we not in the South? If ladies are waiting for a seat and you have a Y chromosome, do you sit down? No, sir. No, you do not.

We know modern life is confusing. The roles of men and women have evolved over the years. As Pink once sang, “Shorty got a job, Shorty got a car, Shorty can pay her own rent.”

But come on, let’s keep some things old-school. My late grandfather- he of the East Texas upbringing, U.S. Navy captain status, and Cary Grant good looks – would never have allowed a woman to stand while he sat. And if you want a Southern woman to love you, neither will you. So, men, here’s a short list of things Southern girls still expect from you.

We still expect you to…

• Stand up for a lady. Actually, this doesn’t just involve chairs.


• Know that the SEC has the best football TEAMS IN THE NATION. Big 12 fan? Hmm, perhaps you should keep walking.


• Kill bugs. Delta Burke as Southern belle Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women said, “. . .Ya know, when men use Women’s Liberation as an excuse not to kill bugs for you. Oh, I just hate that! I don’t care what anybody says, I think the man should have to kill the bug!”


• Hold doors open. This goes for elevator doors too.


• Fix things or build stuff. I once watched in awe as my stepfather built a front porch on the house he shares with my mother. He knew just what to do, cutting every notch, hammering every nail. The project was complete by sunset.


• Wear boots occaisionally. Not the fancy, l-paid-$l,000-for-these kind. We’re talking about slightly mud-crusted, I-could-have-just-come-in-from-the-field boots.


• Take off your hat inside.


• Grill stuff.


• Call us. If you want to ask us out, don’t text and don’t e-mail. Pick up the phone and use your voice.


• Stand when we come back to the dinner table. ”Just a little half-stand is enough to make me melt,” my friend Stephanie says.


• Pull out chairs. Wait, that’s not all. Scoot them back in before we hit the floor.


• Pay the tab on the first few dates. ”If you ask me out, you pay,” Stephanie says. “If I ask you out, you should still pay.” Listen, guys, it’s just simpler this way.


• Don’t show up in a wrinkled, untucked shirt. Care about your appearance but not too much. Don’t smell better than we do. Don’t use mousse or gel. You shouldn’t look like you spend more time in front of the mirror than we do.


• Never get in bar fights. Patrick Swayze might look cool in Road House, but in reality, bar fights are stupid and embarrassing. You don’t look tough. You look like an idiot.


• Know how to mix our favorite cocktail JUST THE WAY WE LIKE IT. Fix your favorite too. Sit down on the porch (it’s okay if you didn’t build it), tell us how your day went, and we’ll tell you about ours.

We’ll leave the long list to the girl who falls in love with you.

Love this. Listen up, boys!

Beach Trip

We are back from our fabulous vacation in Florida! For those keeping count, this is our second time in as many months to go to Florida, but last time didn't count as a vacation since we were so busy with Mare's wedding. I had hoped to get to stay after the wedding and make a vaca out of it, but Cliff ended up having to come back to work for basketball camp so we decided another trip was in order.

As much as we adored Navarre, this time we decided to go a little further down the coast to Seaside, Florida, a place we've been wanting to spend a vacation forever. It's where they filmed the Jim Carrey movie, The Truman Show and it's just a super cute, family-friendly beach town. We've visited and eaten there before while staying in Sandestin, but Cliff and I really wanted to spend our whole trip there as opposed to the more crowded and commercialized areas around Destin.

I did a ton of research to find the perfect place for the three of us to stay and after determining that most of the cottages in Seaside were too big for us and out of our price range, we settled on Seagrove Villas Motel, a kind of kitchy little 50's style motel that has been renovated and converted into cottages and condos. It's right on the edge of Seaside and in a prime location right on the beach. It was perfect for us! See for yourself:

That hammock was about 10 steps from our little patio area. They were definitely not the most luxurious digs we've ever stayed in, but it was the perfect size for us, and you just really can't beat that location! I loved being on the first floor and being able to walk right out onto the grass and over to the pool or the beach. I cannot say enough how much we loved it there!

Some people like to go on vacation to shop, eat fancy meals and do activities like putt putt golf and waterslides. The Furr family likes to chill out on the beach, play in the pool and just relax. I'm sure in the coming years we will add more activities into our trips for Amelia's sake, but for now, I'm happy to just chill out on vacation.

Now don't me wrong, we enjoyed our share of delicious food, and Cliff and I even got a date night out by ourselves thanks to Katie coming down for a couple of days.

At night, we would go out into the cute little town to hang out. They have all kinds of family activities each day and night in the town square. Tons of families bring their blankets and lawn chairs and gather in the park to watch live bands and movies they show on an outdoor screen. I was so excited to get to watch a movie outside and we plopped our blankets down along with a ton of other people, but sadly they never showed it. It has rained an hour before, so I guess they just decided not to do it due to rain. Boo. We still had fun hanging out, people watching, and letting Mimi run around like a whild banshee.

Katie of course snapped a ton of pics, including some family photos on the beach. I love this one.

So that's our trip! We had a fabulous time and we can't wait to go back! (Labor Day weekend, anyone?)

These are a few of Mimi's favorite words

I was finally able to catch Amelia in a mood to play with her word cards while I caught it on video. She got them for Christmas and has been able to identify most of them for months, but has refused to let me video it. She also dabbles in a little counting, but as you will see, she picks and chooses which numbers she likes best.


Reading and Couting (kinda) from Angela Furr on Vimeo.

 A few things to note:

• This video is about 5 minutes long. Sorry, I do not know how to edit, but I plan to learn very soon. I also plan to learn how to do a bunch of other things but editing videos is pretty high on the list.
• Even though I majored in communication, I did not learn how not to sound like a dork in videos. Makes me cringe!
• Amelia's adorable voice makes up for mine.
• When she says tractor, she follows it up by saying "Papa's tractor." I didn't notice it at the time, but apparently she remembers riding on Papa's tractor several months ago. She amazes me!
• I don't think I have to tell you who we have to thank for the espanol.

More pool pics and some quotes

I hate to be such a blog neglecter this summer, but I'm not sure anyone really cares to see a million pictures of Amelia swimming in the pool since that's pretty much all we do now. Oh, what's that? You do? Well, in that case...

Hanging out with BFF and swimsuit twin, Emory

Yes, she has a ton of swimsuits. This is not all my fault! I have cut myself off from buying her any more, but Aunt Katie insisted on getting this cute one that matched Emory's. Swimsuits on toddlers' chunky booties are so much cuter than on adults!

Going down the slide with Daddy on the 4th. We had spent all afternoon in the pool and I had stripped Mimi down to just her diaper to attempt a nap. When that didn't work, we just jumped back in. Cliff got burned the day before and this was his sun protection outfit. They both look a little ridiculous, but a sweet memory nonetheless.

Giving watermelon another try. She actually ate more of it this time. We are getting a tiny bit better about eating different things.

But she thought it was much more fun to stuff it in my mouth.

Not only have I been neglecting the blog, I have neglected to take photos lately. Ugh, I am so over myself for that! Amelia wore the most precious red white and blue smocked dress to church Sunday and I did not even get a photo of it. That would have been unheard of a year ago! I've got to step up my game. Thankfully when Katie is around I don't have to worry about taking photos, so I just snatch hers from facebook to share here with those of you who aren't on there. 

A few cute Mimi quotes from this week:

"Mama, I want to hold you." (I know all kids usually say this at one point, but of course we find it adorable)

"Daddy sleeping. Daddy snoring!"

"I'm sleepy!" (While rubbing her eyes. I got a kick out of it because she has always been in denial when she's sleepy and will fight until the end not to miss out on anything. But last night she just announced that she was sleepy.)

"Graaa MEEE" (She has finally learned how to say Grammy. This has overjoyed my mom, who has been very patient while she has said Papa non-stop for the past year. She has been calling her different versions of the word crappy, ha. But now, she has finally perfected Grammy and she drags it out and really emphasizes the ME sound. So dang cute.)

"No Mam!" (Oops. I wonder where she got that one.)

"Oh goodness!" and "Oh gosh!" (Those are me too. And I think she started gosh after hearing Katie say it recently. We have really got to be more careful that she doesn't pick up anything more inappropriate than these, ha.)

"Good job!" (After throwing something in the trash. She did it the other day without being asked and we made a huge deal out of it and said "Good job!" Yesterday she threw something away and said "Good job!"

"I love you, Mama." (Melts. My. Heart. She will also say it to Daddy, Papaw Bob, Joyce, whoever, but of course "I lush shoe, Mama" is my favorite.)

A couple of other tidbits I want to remember: She LOVES talking on the phone. This is nothing new, as she's loved playing with phones and pretending to talk for a long time now. But now, she actually loves to carry on a conversation with my parents, Mare, really anyone she can. She props it on her shoulder and walks around jabbering like crazy. Sometimes it's jibber jabber, but most of the time, she actually responds to what the person on the other end is talking about. She was telling my parents about playing in the pool the other day and after talking to my dad, my mom got on the phone and Mimi asked "Where Papa go?" We tried it with Uncle Chris last night, but she was sleepy (my bad, she had already told me that) and wasn't in the mood. I said "Say hey to Uncle Chris" and she said "No, Chris!" She is such a mess!

She's pee peed and pooped on the potty a few times now, but nothing spectacular to report. She does tell me when her diaper needs to be changed and when she needs to go more often than not, but if it doesn't happen right away, it's hard to make her sit still on the potty. We're going to keep working on it, but I'm not rushing her. It's clear that she's ready, but maybe I'm just not, ha.

Ok, there's the skinny on our girl this week. I'm going to try to do better about getting more snapshots when she's doing something other than swimming or taking a bath. She does still wear cute clothes sometimes! Ok, all the time. I'll do better, I promise. 

20 months (aka almost 2)

Yes, Amelia is turning 20 months old tomorrow. It still feels awkward to me if someone asks how old she is. There's no way I am going to say 20 months. I just say she's one and a half. Or that she'll be two in October. But for the purposes of keeping up with what she's doing, I am doing a 20 month update. So, at 20 months old, what is Amelia up to? Well, she:

• has hit a language explosion. She will repeat anything we say, which is totally scary! We are really having to watch every word we say around her. Having a little imitator really keeps you on your toes! She also says lots of new words on her own, and strings together some short sentences. She is able to communicate with us like a real person now, rather than us having to guess what she needed as a baby, and that is so much fun.
• is so funny! I had really hoped and prayed for a funny child, and she totally is. She is already saying and doing some of the funniest things, and I know that this is only the beginning. She has learned what it is to "poot" and she thinks it's hilarious! Where do they learn this? The other day Katie was keeping her and after Mimi pooted she said "Mama pooted." She BLAMED me for her gas! Omg, I wanted her to be funny, but to still act like a little lady! She also blamed a couple on Cliff that day. Silly girl.
• is SUCH a picky eater.  Some days she will go all day with only eating a few bites of food. I keep offering different things to her, but she either says No and won't open her mouth, or she will try it and then spit it out. I don't know how she survives, but the experts say they will eat when they are hungry. She does drink lots of juice and milk (which she calls "malk" by the way, ha!). Two things she will never turn down are Cheetos and cookies. I have been trying to limit her snacks to make sure she's hungry at meal times, but sometimes even that doesn't work. I guess I'd rather her eat a few Cheetos for supper than nothing at all!
• loves to sing and dance! She doesn't mind if she doesn't know the words, she will just sing along anyway. Her favorite songs are the ABC song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. She still loves Jay-Z, but now that she repeats everything, I don't want to catch her spouting out his questionable lyrics. Here's a video I took of her singing in the tub the other night:
  Singing in the tub from Angela Furr on Vimeo.
• loves to swim more than anything. See previous post for photos.
• thinks her Papa (my dad) hung the moon. Of course she loves all her grandparents, aunts and uncles, but it is pretty obvious that Papa is her favorite. It is partly because he is awesome and partly because he lets her do anything she wants!
• is quite the expert at throwing a tantrum. She's never been a fan of the word "No," but these days she will go limp if you're holding her and just fall out in the floor if she doesn't get her way. Not cool! I was so embarassed at a birthday party recently when she was the worst behaved child there! She refused to share anything and fell out in the floor throwing a fit when it was time to go. In her defense, I drug her there when I knew she needed a nap, but still that is no excuse. She often behaves that way when she's completely rested.
• spends time in the naughty corner on a regular basis. My co-worker has a little girl who is a year older than Amelia and she has told me about Adleigh's time out spot, so I thought I'd give it a shot with Mimi. Guess what, it actually works! When Amelia is throwing an unnecessary fit (really, what fit is necessary?), all we have to do is say "Corner!" and she stomps off to the corner of whatever room we're in and sits there to finish her tantrum. We tell her she can get up when she's done crying and usually she gets right up and goes about her business. A couple of times during a fit, she's actually marched off to the corner on her own. I think she actually likes having a designated area to throw her fits. What am I going to do with this girl?

I don't want to end on a bad note, because although this is a tough season for us as far as tantrums go, she is still a joy to be around most of the time. From what I've read, this is just a tough age for kids because they don't really know how to handle their feelings yet. We miss getting to go and do some of the things we used to, but she makes just hanging out at home fun. As the saying goes, this too shall pass. And as I've already seen, it passes way too quickly!

And now a few new pics:

Playing with my friend Coutney's little girl Brantlee. Well, kind of. Neither of them really wanted to share and they each threw eerily similar tantrums, but it was so funny to watch them together. They're only three weeks apart in age, and they talk and act so similar.

Amelia made herself at home in B's princess chair!

Hanging out with Katie and Papaw Bob yesterday. Don't let the watermelon fool you. Katie said she only took a couple of bites.

We're well on our way to two years old! How did this happen so quickly?!