Thursday, July 17, 2008

Things NEVER to say to a pregnant woman

This may be the first of many installments as I still have plenty of time for people to say rude things to me, but I have already learned that people can be so rude when it comes to pregnant bellies! It's like people think they have the right to say anything they want to you just because you are pregnant. Well just to give a refresher to some of you who may catch yourself saying things like this to a pregnant woman, try to avoid these:

1. When are you due? Wow, you are going to be HUGE by then!
2. Are you having twins?
3. You sure picked a horrible time to get pregnant. You are going to be miserable by the end of the summer.
4. Your feet must be miserable in those heels. You better stop wearing them or you are going to have knee trouble.
5. Don't get a pedicure. It will make you go into preterm labor.
6. Oh, I hope you wait a week after your due date to have her. That's my cousin's friend's birthday.

As you can, see some of these comments are obviously offensive and some are just annoying to me. We had new student orientation today at work and several people who haven't seen me in a few weeks felt the need to make comments such as these to me today. My response to all of these comments has been to smile politely and say something nice, but here's what I really wanted to say to these people.

1. Wow, thanks. I'm pregnant. Why are you so fat?
2. No, I am not having twins. And contrary to what you may think, this is what you are supposed to look like at 6 months pregnant. Ask everyone on the online message board I read just to make sure I'm normal. We all look the same. My belly is actually smaller than some of theirs.
3. Um, my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I thought I'd leave it up to God on when I would get pregnant again.
4. My feet feel just fine in these heels and as soon as they do not, I will stop wearing them. I am not so vain that I will endanger my health or the health of my child just to wear them. They are fabulous and make me feel a little bit fabulous, so I will wear them as long as I can.
5. My doctor said it's perfectly fine for me to get a pedicure, so I will only be following her advise, not that of someone who not only doesn't have children, but who also did not go to medical school. I won't be getting the deep tissue foot massage, just letting someone paint my toenails before people start telling me how terrible they look. It already hurts to bend down that far.
6. Oh, what a great idea! I'll ask my doctor if they can push the baby back in so she can be born on your cousin's friend's birthday!

Luckily, I haven't actually responded with these comments yet, but check back in a few months and I just might start getting snippy! Below are the only acceptable comments to make to a pregnant woman:

1. When are you due? Wow, you look so great!
2. You look fabulous!
3. You are just glowing!
4. Pregnancy agrees with you, you look beautiful.

These are actual comments that have been made to me, so some people do know the right things to say. But I am still surprised that so many women, mothers even, have the nerve to say such rude things to people. Tune in next time for the next episode of What Not to Say. I'm sure I'll have more to add to the list!

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